Monday, January 9, 2012

Confused New Jersey Mayor Announces Holiday

(Highland Park, NJ) -- In a reaction to the massively popular and ongoing LIVE at Scott Kraiterman's Wall, Highland Park mayor Gary Minkoff announced earlier this morning that January 10, 2011 will be known in the town as 'Parade of Singing Internet Women and Scott Kraiterman's Facebook's Day...Week?' He detailed the following in an unannounced press conference a little after midnight.

"Yeah, I just...well, to tell the truth, I'm not totally sure what the holiday entails. I mean haha I know what it's about (I love the program), but I guess we had a hard time coming up with a name for the day. I don't really know what's going on haha. People seem to like it. Questions?"

Town residents who had been, prior to the announcement, registering noise complaints for "upsettingly accurate and happy multitudes of Disney and Bieber renditions sung through posted internet video by bubbly, fun art students my god" and "loud facebook notification rumblings that sound vaguely like a phone but could also be a tiny, ever-running truck or vacuum" share his befuddled excitement for the holiday, explaining that they, too ,don't quite understand what the fun is about, that they'd like it quieter in their town, but, also, ultimately, that they are altogether warmed for reasons that they won't be able to explain for some time if at all.

"I mean, they have the songs. They have the youth and the funny pictures. We just gave it a formal title haha. You"


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